Our hearts do not hurt because they got broken. Our heart’s hurt because they are not.
Let’s get jiggy with our sadness.
Let’s explore our part and develop a plan to protect our heart so it is less likely to get hurt in the future.
Let’s make friends and reconnect with our gut feelings.
“It’s Christmas” because every day is a gift when we are honored to witness each other grow!
“Happy Monday” because if we wait for Friday, we will have wasted 4 days!
“SQUEAL” Suicide Questions to Understand, Evoke and Affirm Life because the more we talk about it “when you say…are you thinking about killing yourself” the less likely it is that someone will complete!
If someone says yes, I really do want to die, here is your follow-up question. “Do you really want to die? or Do you want the pain to stop?” because it is usually the palpable pain we are trying to escape! We can do something about pain we can only grieve if you are gone. This question gives individuals who are suffering an option! “You mean I don’t have to die to make the pain stop?”
“You are all that and a bag of Skittles!” because you are becoming who you deserve and were meant to be!
“Be, Do, Have” Most people think If I had… Instead consider this – when you show up, Be as you would be if you had… you are more likely to Do what you need to do to Have the life you deserve! A live worth living (Portland DBT)
Addiction is hereditary and so is recovery! In fact, it is much more powerful! Kevin McCauley
Remember the Orange! To process grief and loss.
“Let’s Get Jiggy with Our Sadness!” because crying is a strength and tears are filled with endorphins and enkephalins! Dr. Daryll Inaba
Breath in through your nose for 4, hold for 5 and out through your nose for 8. Notice the pause before the next breath – it’s always there we just rarely notice it. Repeat 3 times when you wake and 3 times when you are about to go to sleep! Rodney Yee
“Delicious” because everything and everyone is eye and ear candy when you see the love in everyone and everything!
“Turn the page” put out your hands, imagine the book, 99 pages long. (Your current age) pages have been filled in with all of your highs, your lows and your – all over the place experiences. From your current age/page to page 99 it is blank! You get to choose what you will fill it in with!
The choices you make today will become who you are at age 72. Example “Grandma surrounded by grandbabies” A client at residential.
“3 H Club – Hugs, High Fives, and Handshakes” A reminder to work on our boundaries – who is worthy of a hug, a high five and handshake from you? Your 3 H’s are extremely valuable treat them as so (caution on the hugs due to COVID 19).
“I love you…” fill in your name and dare to say it to yourself daily!
“We are so glad that you are here!” Even when someone shows up late because if they weren’t here perhaps, they’d be out struggling.
Make a commitment for example “Good morning Lupita (my younger self), I promise today I will take you with me everywhere I go. If your feel weird or off I will find a quiet space to check in with you and validate how you might be feeling and reassure you that I am there. When you are hungry, I will stop what I am doing and feed you delicious and nutritious food, if you are scared, I will do my best to keep you safe whatever that might look like, and when I don’t know what to do, please know I will ask for help!
Take one of your most ineffective thoughts you may be having, ask is it 100% true? Not likely. Your thoughts have the power to create life or destroy life. Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Gabor Mat é & Don Miguel Ruiz
Ask What is the truth (usually the opposite). Plug that thought in. You are now on your way to rewriting your story!!! Dr. Daniel Amen & Dr. Gabor Mate
Replace good with effective and bad with ineffective – it is more factual and reduces stigma and shame.
Replace codependency with adaptations – When itty bitty you, we were all compelled to adapt to our environment. What was useful when we were in survival mode – in the past may not be so useful today. Ask are my adaptations so useful, necessary, or effective today? Learn new ones! Dr. Gabor Maté
Add “in the past” whenever you bring up something that you regret or have guilt about. Adding these three magical words puts that experience where it belongs – still a part of us and in the past – today I have the option to choose different!
Live more, suffer less.
And My mother’s favorite – En cada cabeza hay un mundo! In every head there is one world! The next time someone is standing before you, acting in a way that you do not understand keep in mind from where they come.
These are just some of the many Guadalupeisms I have for you to consider! What would yours be?
PS – I will be going deeper into each one of these Guadalupeisms and much more in my new book Balls To The Walls Recovery – Palpable brief interventions to enhance evidence based practices! by Guadalupe Aragón, BA, CADC1